Thursday, July 26, 2007

13 Things Prompted By One Magazine Page


Thirteen Things Prompted From One Magazine Page

Life & Style brings you the weekend bag...



What frightens me more than I can really say is the Izod, err Lacoste bag.

(1) I'm old enough to remember when all the preppies wore Izod. I had generic polos, collar turned up, no sweater tied around my neck, but a real preppy had that all goin' on. (2) (Remember The Preppy Handbook?) Now we're supposed to call the gator of lust Lacoste? Yup. For he reasons why, and more on popped collars, see Mother Tongue Annoyances.

(3) If the giant alligator weren't scary enough, and at this size he will make small children cry (especially those traveling on a plane)

(4) If I didn't feel that yellow should be reserved for accent not primary coloring (unless you're a ducky or a lemon etc),

(5) If it weren't so expensive,

(6) I'd still have a problem with this bag... Terrycloth.

Terrycloth is to be reserved for towels, bath robes, and toys for small children. Only.

(7) Pre-preppy fashion I was scarred for life by terrycloth rompers. I can't tell you all the details, or I'd need medication. But there are other terry cloth imprint situations which should convince you.

(8) Most women should not wear rompers. Or tube tops. But the romper, being tube top attached to terry shorts, is baaaad. If the bust is to big, yikes. If the bust is too small, nothing stops it either. If the bum is large, it pulls no matter what your bust size. If the bum and legs small, you just have wide-legged short openings which allow anyone to see all they want to see of your Love's Baby Soft panties. It's a hellish thing.

(9) Rompers and tube tops are the creations of anti-feminists who want women to put on clothing which prohibits them from moving and participating in life. Girls, save yourself some money, and just wrap a towel around yourself and you'll not only have the same look, but the same ability for immobility.

(10) If my own fears weren't enough, there were the actions of others. Ever see a 52 year old woman trying on terry cloth rompers? I have. And when I was 16. That alone is not pretty. But she also talked to me...

(11) I was 16, and an employee of a trendy fashion shop (for young women). I was to monitor and clean the fitting rooms. The 52 year old woman was the only one in the store this weekend afternoon and she treated the door-less fitting room area as a confessional.

I heard all about her cheating husband leaving her for the secretary.

(12) This is why she was here, shopping for inappropriate clothing. Lesson: Trying to make yourself feel younger by wearing junior clothes will only succeed in making you look older.

However, her nudity, upper-arm wiggle matched by every other bit of skin wiggle, and inappropriate fashion choices were the least of my problems.

(13) She proceeded to tell me in great detail about how the marital assets were being divided-up, yes, but more as well. She told me that his new gal was likely good at blow jobs and that I, a 16 year old store employee who was still a virgin, should learn how to give great blow jobs because that's what her husband was really throwing away 30 years over -- that's what all men wanted, so I should accept this knowledge and save myself.

So, I can't see terry cloth on things other than towels and the few other objects listed, or all of this comes flooding back.

Thanks for the memories, Life & Style Magazine. :p



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20 comments:

Holly said...

The thought of a 52 year old who jiggles in a terry romper has scarred me as well. Thanks for that. :P

Happy TT.

Wacky Mommy said...

Oh, dear Lord. So many scary thoughts going through my head right now ;)

SlipOfAGirl said...

Thank you, ladies. I have done my job for today well then :p

Sue said...

Egads! and agreed! Terry cloth is for towels, and robes period! Happy TT, and thanks for the smiles .. :)

MamaLee said...

SCARY!

I have the overwhelming desire to pull my wedgie out of my butt and make sure my shirt is buttoned. ROMPER! TUBE TOP! OMG... I'm old...

Vixen said...

That purple thing....the pictures...my eyes. LOL

Exhausted Intern said...

LOL, I know what my nightmares will be about tonight! Love the rotary phone purse, too! Happy TT!

Qtpies7 said...

Now I'm scared of Terry cloth too! I don't think I can even look at my towels the same way!

I Was Born2Cree8 said...

I actually liked the rompers back in the day... and not all women in their 50s jiggle or have fat or ugly bodies (just for the record).

Happy T13.. thanks for visiting my blog today.

Robin said...

Oh man, what a conversation! And I couldn't agree more on the whole current romper "is she or isn't she" phenomenon.

Lori said...

Great list...you made me think and remember:) Happy TT.

Mercy's Maid said...

Eek! Now I can't get the image of an old lady in a romper out of my mind.

Lara Angelina said...

I am unfortunately old enough to remember terry rompers, and believe I had a terry cloth outfit (shorts and top). Be kind to me -- I was 5 and it was 1961. It was also orange and being very light skinned with dark hair and eyes, I looked like I had hepatitis. Bottom line: unless it's a towel, terry cloth scares me!! lol
Great TT and thanks for stopping by mine!
Lara

Miss Profe said...

Oh! I adored my terry romper as a kid! It's not the thing I would wear outside of the house, but, if I could find one now, I'd wear them.

BTW: I came to your blog via Not Enough Hours.:)

Linda said...

That whole spiel on the romper is hilarious! I love to hear from women nearer my age (44) than those with toddlers. Hope you had a great Thursday.

Matthew Didier said...

Wow... that's quite a lot from a magazine... and many memories from the first one... {{shivers}}

Melanie said...

Oh my goodness! Very scary pictures in my head seeing that romper being worn through the mall or worse yet in Walmart! LOL Thanks for the giggles! Happy TT!

Marina said...

Wow--too bad this woman had no concept of boundaries!

Jean Marie Ward said...

Ya know, I really shouldn't have read Tales of the Fitting Room so close to midnight. It's scarier than a Fantasy Lover.
Cheers and shudders,
Jean Marie

SlipOfAGirl said...

I Was Born2Cree8, I don't think all women at 52 (or any number) are so inclined to jiggle -- just as I would hope the demographic is so bereft of boundaries :p

I am glad the rest of you enjoyed my nightmare. At least you didn't have to be there ;)