Dear David B.,
Sorry it's taken me so long to let you know that I received your belated birthday gift. I'd like to explain about the delay.
When Marisa contacted me to ask for my shipping information, it took me nearly an entire day to recover from my shock. Then, when she confirmed that this was truly an anonymous gift and not a joke, I fainted, for I never expected anyone (especially one not related to me) to really grant my birthday wish. Once the print arrived and I opened it, I swooned, and had to lay upon the sofa -- with the print in my hands, of course. (When too weak to hold it, it rested on the table next to me.) It wasn't the heat, nor consumption; I was overcome by your kind gesture.
I have since (mostly) recovered. (My legs are still a bit shaky, and I'm a bit dizzy, but these are the sort of giddy afflictions a girl could become accustomed too.) Not only is Little Sack Belly even more precious than shown, but I'm sincerely touched by your generosity.
I've 'enclosed' a copy of the print, with my lip print on the plastic protective sleeve, so that you can see how much both it and you delight me.
Having no royal title myself, it would be inappropriate for me to knight you or some such; but a token of my esteem, affection and gratitude is required. So please accept the official title of Dearest David as a token of my high regard and as a proper Thank You for your kindness.
I await your reply,
Slip of a Girl